mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
