As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
