Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I smell like Dick and happiness
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize