Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
