i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
