Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
