i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
