dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
