god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
