it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
