I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
