nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
