I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
