Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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