Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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