He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
