I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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