At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
