did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
