this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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