she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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