Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
