Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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