That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
