Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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