a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
