how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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