I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
