btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
