Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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