I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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