dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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