2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
