he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
