She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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