Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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