grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
