is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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