I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
