Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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