i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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