JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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