You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
