and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
