are you still at the devil's house?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
