I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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