D3 body, D1 cock
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
