I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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