I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
