dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
