wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
