you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
