Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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