how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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