3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
