East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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