rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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