Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize