batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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