He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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