My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My vagina just clenched in fear
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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