i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Still dying that you shit outside
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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