where am i from again
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
