This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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