I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
