Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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