I feel great
I just peed on a car
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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