Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
