There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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