True but thats because hes a fetus.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize