Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We have started to decorate penises.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
