the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
