Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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