I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
