My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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