So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
