Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
