Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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