your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize