we're blogging at a bar
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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