Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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