apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize